The Art of Losing.

Intramural flag football is fun, but also frustrating. Knowing that our team was athletically superior to another team, you would think that it would be a no-brainer that we would win this game. Given our experience playing football, knowledge, speed, and even height advantages, we should win the majority of the games that we play. However, we all know that no matter how great you think you are, not everything will go your way.

Last play of the game, we were down by one point. Our team lined up for a hail mary pass attempt. Surely one of our tall guys from the outside would be able to get to it so we could win the game! Hut...snap...throw...and the ball was swatted away by a defender. Sobering. We lost the game though logistically, the odds were in our favor. Everyone has to lose someday.

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If you are a fan of losing, then you probably aren't human. Nobody likes to lose. One similarity between NFL quarterback, Peyton Manning, and the quarterback for a local peewee ball club is their competitiveness. They want to win. As a young man who follows Jesus and as some of you who may be reading that don't, we both like to win. It's natural for us to want to win, but I'd really like to express my thoughts about life, in terms of losing.

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This past year and a half has been the most rewarding time when it comes to growth, but I owe that to the fact that God planned it as a year and a half of losing. Here, I am not talking about losing a loved one (though I hope if you are reading this and have experienced that recently, that you can still get a lot out of this post) but I am more so speaking of losing emotionally, relationally, financially, mentally, and in life circumstances. 

The flag football game is kind of how life goes for us sometimes. We try our best, put our best foot forward, pray, become selfless (or so we think), make every attempt to gain success, and at the end, lose. I can study 15 hours in one week for my test and still fail, just like I can do all of the right things in a relationship and it not work out. I can have the greatest resume in the world, and a company could not like my application. I can be the hardest working guy in an organization yet never receive the position that I want. I can have the kindest family, but never be able to have a child of my own.

Losing sucks, but I believe that the Lord uses this to grow His children. James, Jesus' half-brother, wrote a letter in the Bible which is self-titled as the book of James. In Chapter 1, verses 2-4, he says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

If you are reading this, your trials may not look like persecution, which was going on with the tribes that James wrote to. However, there are various trials, just as James explains, that will grow us. This can include anything from someone having to go through a medical issue such as Diabetes to another having to plan the funeral service for their mother. There are trials that we can't control. There are losses that we can't prevent. From what God has shown me this past year, here is what I have learned from this art of losing.

1. I am not as good as I think I am.

As I have mentioned in our flag football story, though we had all of the necessary components to win, we didn't. Sure, we could have planned our plays. Sure, we could have practiced with each other more. You can always do more, but maybe we weren't as good as we thought we were. And that's okay. Our competitive spirits were crushed, however, for the Christian, that doesn't touch what God has for me eternally. Though you treated him with respect and loved him for who he is does not mean the relationship will work out. Though you take care of your body unlike your friends, you may still develop cancer. Though you work hard, you may never get that raise. Whatever we pursue, even with a seemingly pure heart, we may not obtain. And that's okay, we don't deserve it anyways.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

I think that I know what's best for myself. However, if that were the case, all of my self-provision efforts would have worked out the way that I wanted them to. The truth is, my heart is sick. Your heart is sick. Ephesians 2 says that we are all by nature children of wrath! We deserve wrath because of our sin. It's not as if I can be good enough for good things to happen in my life, because I am not good, at all. Nobody is good. So, the fact that we think that we deserve anything, is completely a lie. You and I deserve death because we actively put things above our Creator. We actively love things above Him. But, not only does He give us everything necessary to breathe air, but He gives us every other blessing that you and I forget about when we complain about what we don't have. And for the Christian, He takes it a step further and gives us life with Him, at the cost of His perfect Son, Jesus Christ. 

We don't deserve anything. This truth is foundational to life. Once we realize that everything is a gift undeserved, we can start being grateful for the love that has been shown to us.

2. I do not control my life.

Paul, who wrote a chunk of letters in the Bible, confesses this in 2 Corinthians 12 when he literally pleads with the Lord to take a thorn in his flesh away. There's times where I've wanted, even pleaded with God to bring me something, take away a trial, make people accept me, and whatever else one may think of.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

God could have taken away that thorn, but He didn't. He has all of the power to change the situation, but He doesn't. God is in control, and just as He told Paul, His grace is all we need. When we attempt to control what happens in our lives, we do not trust in God. If I do everything I can to avoid losing in life by taking the safe road, the wide path, and easy street, then that proves that God is not enough for me. It proves that I do not trust Him when He leads me to something sticky. He tells me to trust Him; all I have to do is follow. Taking a loss in life reveals our control, which is nonexistent. This is important to grasp because, when God shakes things up in our lives, we have the knowledge and ability to hold on to Jesus Christ, our immovable anchor.

3. Therefore, I can breathe.

Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”

And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:22-33

Because of God's love for us, He will take us through life so that we can learn to trust Him. Peter, who Jesus affirms as the rock of the church, failed to trust Jesus in this storm. We fail to trust Him in our lives. Even though we are faithless at times, we can breathe. When life blows up, and every idol that we have tried to make God fails us, Jesus is standing there. He is not standing there shaking His head and angry with us, but He is welcoming us to put our trust in Him, and Him alone. Therefore, when we lose at life, when what we love in this world is taken away, or when we are not accepted by others because of our ethnicities, where we are from, or what we stand for, we can rest easy. 

So I am free to lose, as weird as that sounds. Our losses can only push us to trust in the One that we will never lose! Breathe!

4. Bitterness is a choice and Love is better one.

As for the "losses" themselves, you may have an exhaustive list of people that have hurt you. We are all sinners and all capable of hurting one another, so everyone should share some level of hurt. Therefore, we all have experienced some variation of emotional and mental loss. For example, you may feel mistreated by friends, or even feel as if you've been gossiped about and even "stabbed in the back." Pain. In a dating relationship, the one that you have invested your time and life into informs you that they don't think that it will work out. Curveball. For me, I have experienced racial discrimination. This is a problem that will not be eradicated until Jesus is back for us, but it is a problem nonetheless. This does a number of things to me. 

First, it messes with my sense of identity. As a son of the Most High King, that is my first and foremost identity. I am royalty because of Jesus. However, when I am affected by racial discrimination and lose sight of how I am viewed primarily, I identify myself as merely a black man, not accepted by whoever I am seeking approval from.  C.S. Lewis hits the head on the reality of human hurt in this quote from His book, The Problem of Pain. Lewis says, 

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.”

I love that quote, because it reminds me of how real my pain is. Therefore, we must address this pain at the root of it before it becomes something more. We are hurt, and immediately we direct that hurt in the form of bitterness to one of three persons: another person, God, or ourselves. We are bitter to the people that hurt us because we feel that we deserve more from them. We are sick of God because, in His infinite control, He allowed this to happen to us when we deserve better. We are tired of ourselves, because in our limited control, we can never get anything meaningful accomplished. Bitterness only affects one person: the one who holds the bitterness.

There has to be a better alternative for the soul than killing others in our hearts, and ourselves. This alternative is love. Jesus said in Matthew 5:38-42, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you."

The Son of God was not passive by any means, but He realized that love is the only way to live freely. He said that it is the greatest commandment. He shows us this love for us by dying on the cross for us. He did this for all of His enemies; including you and me. Our disobedience costed Him His life, so that we may live. 

Love is my favorite but, most puzzling word. I am still learning how to love my friends, family, strangers, and enemies, and if true love was shown on the Cross, then I have never given it away; as much as I believe I have. I will never fully comprehend the Lord's love, but He gives us the example of Jesus and His unselfishness. Jesus submitted and took the loss for us so that we could gain life.

Due to my life being bought at that price, I am enabled to genuinely love people when they hurt me. I am enabled to go above and beyond and pray for my enemies. I am able to forgive the ugliest trespasses, because of what I have gained by the forgiveness of God in my trespasses.

5. Any loss for the sake of Christ is worth it.

Job, from the bible, is the biggest loser ever. The Bible describes him as blameless and upright. He feared the Lord and turned from evil. You would think that God would put a forcefield over this guy, right? If we were a god, we surely would. But God is out for His glory, and He is willing to test us so that we can praise Him all the more. God allowed Satan to take away Job's children, possessions, health, and much more. Job was afflicted, yet he says in chapter 13 of his book, "Though He slay me, I will hope in him." 

I believe that the Lord wants more like Job.

What if I told you that any loss in this world doesn't matter? Yes, pain is real. Emotional and mental hurt can drive us wild. We lose and feel lost because of it. However, the same Paul who wrote 2 Corinthians wrote these verses in Philippians. There are thousands of verses in scripture that I could point you to, and I encourage you to read the Word for yourself so the Lord can reveal these things to you more personally. But for me, these verses hit me like a brick wall when I read them earlier this week. 

Yes, and I will rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

Philippians 1:18-21

By life, or by death.

To live is Christ.

To die is gain.

To follow Jesus is so much more than cheering on Tim Tebow and standing for conservative views in politics. The Christian life is all about taking losses, knowing that you have won the ultimate prize: life. Why do you think missionaries leave everything they own to tell people about what He has done? Why would people not deny Him when they face persecution, only to be killed? Why would Christians kill their desires, hopes, and dreams, only to obey Him? Simply because He is worth it.

God is perfect. In His perfection, has created us to glorify Him by living a holy life. But in our selfishness, idolatry, and sin we have failed to reach that standard since the day that Adam and Eve failed to obey in the garden. This is our biggest loss. God is perfect, so in order for us to have a relationship with Him, we must be perfect. 

God solved this problem for us by sending Jesus Christ, His Son, to take the loss for us who believe. Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and defeated the power of sin, satan, and death forever by proving that He was who He said He was by resurrecting on the third day. That is good news for our weary hearts in this world stained with sin and filled with loss. But that is not the end...

He's coming back to claim His victory by rescuing us from this world and everything in it. 

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The flag football game is kind of how life goes for us sometimes. We try our best, put our best foot forward, pray, become selfless (or so we think), make every attempt to gain success, and at the end, lose. I can study 15 hours in one week for my test and still fail, just like I can do all of the right things in a relationship and it not work out. I can have the greatest resume in the world, and a company could not like my application. I can be the hardest working guy in an organization yet never receive the position that I want. I can have the kindest family, but never be able to have a child of my own. However, there is one thing that I have received that will outlast anything I can gain in this world: life.  What I deserve, I don't get: death. Lastly, there is one name that will never fail me: Jesus.

"There are far, far better things ahead, then anything we leave behind." - C.S. Lewis

The Plea To Hope

If you check the dates on the blog posts you should notice that it has almost been three months since the last time I wrote a blog post. Since then, many things have changed: jobs, family, relationship status, facial hair (attempting to get my James Harden on), and so much more. Change is difficult. Change is rough. Change is necessary.

Change forces us to examine many things. It can also expose our nature along with the idols we cling onto most. Think about this, when a house burns down what will you risk your life to rescue out of the fire? When life crashes, what will you hang onto?

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Outside of the word love, hope may be the most underestimated four letter word. It is also one of the most powerful things that a human can possess that transforms internal desires into external exertion. Hope can make a man do crazy things, things that he may be unable to do without the driving force of the end goal. This is hope, best defined by dictionaries as a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. Without hope, glorious moments in world history would have never occurred. If Martin Luther King, Jr. had never hoped of peace in a diverse world, even beyond his day, I may not have had the opportunity to write this. If Michael Jordan had never hoped of being the greatest athlete of all time, who would we compare LeBron James to? What about Jim on the television show, The Office? If he had never hoped of marrying Pam, the woman of his dreams, he would have never escaped the dreadful friendzone. Hope awakens in us a work ethic to see something to completion, because of the joy that comes in the end result.

I understand that everyone's not MLK, MJ, or Jim Halpert. But like them, we are human. And we do aspire to obtain something bigger than ourselves such as peace, satisfaction, and joy. I remember when I was a little kid playing with my friends in downtown New Orleans, we all aspired to become policemen, firemen, doctors, and presidents. We all knew and agreed on one thing, that we would leave the inner-city and not return. So what happens when hope meets difficult change? What happens when you hope in something that is temporary? Most importantly, how can a man or woman function when hope is not present in their lives?

Everyone is currently seeking hope-opportunities: places, things, and people that we can put our hope in. The most tragic emotional trial one can encounter is when their hope-opportunity disappears. This can leave us even more broken and hurt in a world already stained with brokenness and the stench of death. We have all experienced our hope being crushed by idols, the temporary things that we put our hope in. We can experience hurt and abandonment from our hopes being crushed to such a high degree that we may never want to experience what it feels like to hope in anything ever again. To hope, is to invest, and as C.S. Lewis says in his book, The Four Loves, "There is NO safe investment."

We can hope in so many things that can leave us ruined. Whether it be relationships, titles, money, or anything in between, these things will leave us hanging dry. Am I ranting about how hope is false advertisement? Yes, in a way. Hope is false advertisement if the object that we put our hope in is human, or human made. According to National Geographic, women live an average of 81 years, 76 for men. Eventually, we will disappear. That's the circle of life. We can hope for our parents to come through and provide for us but when they are gone who will provide? We can hope for our peers to accept us but when they reject us, who will? When we fail to find our identity in this world, what can we hope in?

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15:19 that "If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied." Here he explains that if Jesus is only temporary, our hope is faulty. This means that if anything is temporary, it is a horrible God and a faulty idol. We can concur that everything in this world is not worth our hope, because it will only bring us to the day of our death (at most) and nothing beyond it.

Hope has a name, and it is Jesus. Paul, who once wanted nothing but blood from the followers of Christ, says in Romans 8:24-25, that "For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Think about the fact that much of what we hope in are things and people that we can see. This is not hope. At least the kind of hope that our souls are longing for.

God made Himself man and entered into our sinful world in order to abolish sin, death, and Satan. He died along with the sins of those who put their hope in Him so that we may be clean and seen as blameless. He rose on the third day proving that He is in fact God, and also defeated death. We too can live new lives just as Jesus lives today. Jesus, the God-man is now in the heavens preparing an eternal home for us.

The reason we can put our hope in Jesus is simply because He Lives. God's wrath was upon sinful men and women like you and I but Jesus intercepted the hit on the Cross. Like normal people, Jesus died. Unlike normal people, Jesus rose. Like a God, Jesus lives -- forever.

Everyone is currently seeking hope-opportunities: places, things, and people that we can put our hope in. The most tragic emotional trial one can encounter is when their hope-opportunity disappears. This can leave us even more broken and hurt in a world already stained with brokenness and the stench of death. The good news is that Jesus came for us because of this. We need something better to hope in. We need someone that will never fail us, leave us or forsake us.

We can experience hurt and abandonment from our hopes being crushed to such a high degree that we may never want to experience what it feels like to hope in anything ever again. I have felt how dissatisfied life is from this type of pain. However, I want to plead with you to hope again. I want you to hope in Jesus. He will and always has provided. He will and always will accept you. He will never leave you. Whatever damage sin has done to you, He has come to reverse it.

Do you know what it truly means to put your hope and trust in Jesus? Martin Luther King, Jr says that "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." Jesus is the infinite answer to a broken world. So the question is, when your world comes crashing down, what will you cling on to? Something temporary, or eternal?

Romans 15:13  

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Pretty Pictures

Social media is great. I use it to keep up with family and friends. For the past two years, I haven't found it even necessary to turn on the news channel to find out what's going on around the world, I just open up Twitter! From things like engagements, weddings, births, even deaths, social media has found a way to connect so many people through the use of the internet and in a lot of ways, it has brought us happiness.

Lately, I have truly found out something more about social media that has revealed a deeper issue in myself. I log on Facebook and Instagram and realize that I'm a mess. This is true, due to my sin and my failures and my imperfections. However, I also log on only to see perfect people. I have realized that because of my covetousness that social media has began to make my heart suffocate almost every time I sign my username in.

What am I talking about? You know, the pictures of that one relationship that seems so perfect, right out of the movie, the Notebook. The family that has never seemed broken that posts the annual Christmas card cover photo every single year. The guy who always gets what he wants from life by doing little. The girl who won prom queen who has never seen a pimple in her life. Friends, we have mistaken the good life for the life we see in photos, videos, and blogs that seem perfect. Good relationships, families, and stuff like that aren't bad, but we want it so bad. I pray that we can realize that life and everything that it entails is not what we see on social media, and by the end of this I hope that even I can continue to learn that life is so much more that pretty pictures.

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I mentioned the word covetousness earlier and I'm sure that most of us do not know what it means. I surely didn't, I only knew that it was a biblical commandment, so it must've been important however, it may not apply to those living in A.D. The online dictionary defines the word covet as the yearn to possess or have (something).

So we see that it means to long to have something, namely something that you cannot obtain. A better observation of this term comes from the biblestudytools.com dictionary. It explains that: 

• Strong desire to have that which belongs to another. The tenth commandment forbids coveting anything that belongs to a neighbor, including his house, his wife, his servants, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to him (Exod 20:17 ). Jesus listed covetousness or greed along with many of the sins from within, including adultery, theft, and murder, which make a person unclean ( Mr 7:22 ). Paul reminded the Ephesians that greed or covetousness is equated with immorality and impurity, so that these must be put away ( 5:3 ). A covetous or greedy person is an idolator ( 5:5 ) and covetousness is idolatry ( Col 3:5 ). James warns that people kill and covet because they cannot have what they want ( 4:2 ).

So this is what I have been really struggling with lately. Not only covetousness but deeper than that, idolatry. Idolatry of people, relationships, possessions, or whatever else. I can't have it, therefore I want it. I long for it. I yearn for it. And social media has been the harbor for the ship of my selfishness. It has been the reminder that everyone else around me has a better life. It is the fog that makes me blind to what I actually do have, and what's truly important.

What's truly important though?

1. We are not what we have.

One of the main reasons why this issue gets to me so much is probably because of the realization that I have less possessions than my friends, a broken family, and more hardships than happiness in life. All three are lies and here's why: because of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. The world around us defines us by the things that they see that we have. I have been adopted into the family of Christ, where I am not only a son, but an heir. And because of what Jesus Christ has done for me on the cross, I am able to have not only happiness, but joy in that fact that I have a relationship with my Creator, the one who loves me endlessly and cares more about my soul than I do. Which leads me to the next point.

2. We are not worthless.

Because of the power of God and the work of Jesus Christ on the cross, I have been purchased by God for the price of His Son, deeming myself and every other believer worth a lot. The reason why we covet things of other people so much is because we, as humans, feel that we must fill our hearts with more stuff so that will make our value increase because in reality, we believe that we are nothing. That is the biggest lie that satan tells us. "If you only had a relationship that looked like that...If you only had a car that was pretty like that...If your parents would have never divorced...If you were only that pretty...If you this, if you that...." We can go on and on and on but, just as the devil questioned if God was enough to Adam and Eve in Genesis 3, so he still temps us day after day, leaving our sinful hearts questioning if Jesus is really everything? We forget our worth and chase after things that will only leave us so empty. 

3. We have everything that we will ever need.

We really do have all that we need, and we are really okay. So what? You were born into a poor family and had to work your butt off to buy your 2003 Corolla. Who cares that you and your significant other have hardships that you don't believe that anyone else has to go through? Why not be content where you are in life and the money you make? Whatever you are dealing with when it comes to this issue, the solution is this: we miss the point or life. We miss Jesus. 

He gives us reason to breathe and sing and have joy. He gives us the ability to look past these fleeting things that keep us away from Him. Our identity is not in any of that stuff anyways, because if Galatians 2:20 is true, then I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me! So this tells me that I am not what I have. It reminds me that I am not worthless. It screams to me that I have everything that I ever need. Everlasting, unconditional love from a God who looks at me as blameless, and fellowship with that same God for eternity! Why covet an image when I am God's image?

As for social media...

This is not intended to be a blog-blast about social media, in the beginning of the post I addressed that social media has it's pros, and I am surely thankful of it! But for now, they do not exist on my phone because of my heart being prone to strongly want things that others have. Covetousness is a heart issue and needs to be dealt with.  I am keeping my accounts but, other than for a few exceptions, I will not be logging on for a bit.

As for the "perfect people" we see on these sites...

Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Don't believe the fairytale relationships and prosperity posts about how great and perfect life is! Jesus promised nothing but eternal life and suffering for those who follow Him (Matthew 16:24-26, John 15:20,  John 10:28). 

Pretty pictures telling pretty lies

Life is not perfect for anyone, and too many times we (myself being the biggest offender) are deadly prone to leaving the One we love and wanting to pursue the "perfect" life, relationship, family, and whatever else. And Jesus said to them, I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one come to the Father except through me. John 14:6

Now, it will probably be good to talk to someone who loves you about all of this. I hope that we all can be free from the suffocating falsehood that social media brings to our hearts. Jesus is better than a perfect life, because through our imperfections, He perfectly loves us.

Homecoming

I only go back to New Orleans on 2 occasions: weddings and funerals. It's crazy that over the past nine years I have only been back three times. God knew that in those nine years that he would prepare my return to my native city not only to serve, but relive.

And I was now a Christian; not just someone who was a fan of Jesus or thought that He was a cool guy. I followed Him, imperfectly, but by God's perfect grace. And there is something about having a house burned to the ground, becoming a firefighter, and coming back nine years later bearing the feeling that you could've done something. That's how it was for me returning to the poverty stricken, crime ridden, beautifully soulful New Orleans, Louisiana. I had left and returned with something more precious than a fixed levee, the Gospel.

The last time I spent any time over a week in New Orleans was when I lived there. So going on a mission trip with my church to New Orleans, I knew that I would have to face some sort of reality of everything that has happened since that time. A lot had changed about the city, and myself. I wasn't 12 years old, but I was 20. The 9th Ward, where I had lived before the storm, had been washed away and in the process of being rebuilt. Charity Hospital was no more and the fans of the football team no longer wore bags over their heads.

On our trip, we did a lot of work! The first full day consisted of an overnight disassembly of a house in the Superdome. Yes, I did type "disassembly" and "in the Superdome." All week we worked alongside an organization called the St. Bernard Project that supplied low-income victims of Hurricane Katrina who were also victims of contract fraud with an opportunity to have their houses made into a living sustainable condition, at an affordable cost. They were showcasing their housing in the Superdome. One group of volunteers built it, and it was our job to take it apart in a way where all of the pieces could be used again to build a house. It was a fun night, with the exception of one of my closest friends smashing my right ring finger with a sledge hammer. Let's not talk about it!

We were split into two groups after that day and were given different projects to work on. My group transported all of the pieces of the house that we disassembled into storage pods. And the days afterward we worked on a house owned by a sweet, old lady named Vera. It was really encouraging to work with so many college students, like myself, that were devoted to getting the house finished. Nobody complained, and I learned so much about Jesus' selflessness from my group.

As I said earlier, I know God took me out of the 504 and brought me back there again nine years later for a reason. On the trip I experienced a lot of things that I was unprepared, but yet thankful for at the same time. One of those times came Thursday morning, our last work day, where we took a trip to 1317 Alabo Street, my home. Also the place where I had to welcome back my reality.

The plan was for me to talk about the Hurricane Katrina story where my house used to stand (because I knew it had already been torn down due to flood damage from the roof down) however, that was delayed five minutes because I couldn't even recognize where my house was. After I found it, we all gathered in front of it, everyone waiting for me to share the epic story of the decade, and I had no words.

I was caught off guard by my emotions and I just explained where a lot of good and bad childhood memories occurred on that street. I pointed out where I saw my first crime scene. I introduced everyone to where I would race my friends on the street. Next door was Coach Rob's house, and we were standing in the parking lot where I experienced my first drive-by.

Soon as I got myself together I started explaining my personal Hurricane Katrina experience. It's too long for a blog post; I actually wrote a 9 page essay over it and received scholarship money for it! But to make a long story short for those of you who do not already know, my mother, grandmother, and I stayed and rode out the storm. We were trapped for 4-5 days and were taken to Houston afterwards.

Soon after I finished speaking and answering questions about stuff related to the story, one of the leaders on the trip asked if I needed time to be alone for a bit. As I took him up on his offer, I was very thankful. Some of my closest friends stayed with me to pray outside of the house, then I spent several minutes alone, with Jesus and the remains of the family house. I even tried to walk into it as if the steps were there. The weeds and grass had grown so high that it probably wouldn't have been the best idea to venture into there.

I soaked every minute in, and God reminded me of his sovereignty and grace and beauty. Just as our Savior died a gruesome death that none of us can truly picture, He beautifully saved us at the same time, and God beautifully raised Him from the dead along with our new hearts. God can do so much with nothing. He made the world from nothing and made man from dirt; there is nothing that is impossible for God (Luke 1:37).

When I express that God makes things out of nothing, I can directly look at my life. If you are a believer, you can look at yours as well. Underneath the skin, facial features, moralism, and intelligence we are nothing but a mess. We can hide it well. That's me too. I am sinful, and I needed Jesus but I didn't know it. I definitely didn't want Him, more than that, I don't deserve an ounce of His love.

We can't save ourselves, so God sent His Son to do just that; living the perfect life in full obedience to the Father, leading Him to His death. Our sin on His shoulders, more personally, my sin piercing His hands and forehead and heels. Above the pain came a burden that we, as believers, will never have to face when we are born again; separation from the Father.

Since Jesus bore our sins, and God cannot have a relationship with sin, Jesus was obedient to the point of His worst nightmare, separation from the Father whom He had loved eternally. All of this so we could be looked at as righteous and blameless, just as Jesus is.

That's a lot to praise the Lord about. The saving grace that changed my life eternally is the same grace that can change the former "murder capitol."

Not only did Jesus live the perfect life and die the most obedient death, but He also conquered death itself by raising to life on the third day. So not only can I be looked upon as righteous because of the death of Jesus but, I am enabled to do good works in Him. That's what changes my life.

The reason why the gospel is so important in our everyday lives is because the same grace that saves us and sustains us can do the same for another individual, group of individuals, or a city. In a situation where my family lost everything, God still had a plan in knowing that I would receive everything through the acceptance of the internal inheritance in which He called me into through His Son.

The next day was a lot harder because we went to the New Orleans Museum in the French Quarter, where there was physical remnants of the disaster named Katrina. It was a long mo(u)rning passing by pictures, reading information about deaths and other sad news. But through the sadness, there was hope. Finally it dawned on me. God chose to spare my life and more than that, take me into His family, call me His son, make me an heir! As my burden grows for my hometown, the Lord reminds me that He has given me everything I need to live; the Living Water.  Jesus.

Though there was a lot of destruction left from the hurricane and many aspects of New Orleans that can make stone cold hearts moved to tears, I saw so much hope. From the servitude of the team from our church, to the joy on Vera's face after we finished priming the walls to her renewed home, I was reminded of the hope that God gives us through His Son.  Just as He redeemed my life, He is constantly doing the same for the people of New Orleans!

Colorblind Love

There are hundreds of touchy subjects that the world hates talking about. There's abortion, welfare, guns, oh and then if you go to church there is tithing! "How do they expect me to give a tenth of my income??" But that's a different post for a different time! 

Whether you are Christian or not, there is one issue that is familiar to all of us, and it personally keeps coming up in my life. One that I cannot escape. An issue that has followed me for my entire life and will continue to do so until I depart from this life. That issue is race. And it's because I'm black.

Okay, I know you're thinking, can't I take my three day weekend off without hearing about this? I hope that if you're reading this, that you can sit back on this beautiful Martin Luther King Jr day and reflect on how this subject has affected your life, whether your skin is white, brown, or anywhere else in between. This is for the world because, even globes are blue and green.

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I grew up in New Orleans, and now that I look back I can't remember having any white friends. There was one in elementary but, I'm pretty sure he only attended for one year. I was a smart kid so I went to a nice magnet school that required entrance tests to get in. All of the other students were black. All I knew was black. There was no interracial couples or marriages in my family. Just black on black. 

After we moved to Texas, a minor culture shock had taken place and our whole family's perspective had to change. All of my teachers were white. I took Pre Advanced Placement classes and the vast majority of the kids were white. It doesn't seem like a big deal but, when a black kid from the homicide ridden downtown of New Orleans steps into the halls of a middle school in Wichita Falls, I had some very interesting experiences. I was followed around in a Maurice's once trying to find my mom a birthday present. I have been pulled over because I "looked like the suspect the police had been looking for." I have even been asked if I could handle certain classes. Blame it on the melanin!

I am a first generation college student. My mother worked two jobs to help me get through high school. We lived in what most would call the "ghetto." I was convinced that people would just label the ghetto as where the most black people and hispanics lived. I can't stand the word. And instead of helping that impoverished part of the city most nice cars would detour around it.

Upon graduating from high school, my closest friends were white. These are friends that I keep up with to this day. Their families know me and it feels like I'm apart of their home. And as I look back, they never defined me by the color of my skin. In fact, I'm convinced that they would think that such a thing is silly.

I never had to become another person for them to see me as equal. I never had to stop brushing my hair or change the way I talked when I got around them. There were also teachers and academic counselors that took the time to get to know the real me. Not many people would take time out of their lives to hear stories anymore, due to the "business" of our own lives filled with facebook novels and twitter quotes. But they did, and many of those faithful people are the reason why I decided to go to college. Because of where I'm from, college is not a promise or even a goal; graduating high school is.

And now I am a junior at Texas Tech University where I pledged a black fraternity where the black people are actually a minority number. One of my best friends is a white guy with a beard that looks like he belongs in the mountains on beef jerky commercials. He along with two other white guys are my roommates. 

If I weren't pushing the limit yet, here it goes. I am dating a white girl. The most beautiful girl in the world. Though I cherish our relationship, there are a few extra hoops that we have to jump through because of our different colors. For example, one time we ate at a diner in town, and an old woman stared at us as we walked out. I've gotten that stare many times now that I think about it. Our families aren't used to another color entering the circle. That has been hard at times, and it has been the most recent issue related to color that I have experienced. For years, society has put labels on us. It's not my fault that I'm black, God made me this way.

That is true. And God alone has the power to make any newborn any color He desires, even green! And here's another true statement: I am black, for God's glory! Just as you may be white, hispanic, asian, or whatever else, you have been made BY God. Color does not make us "unequally yoked." Color does not lock down our "election by God." Color does not guarantee us a ticket to a good or heavenward life. 

In fact, color has nothing to do with anything. Before my friends, my girlfriend, and I knew Jesus, God only saw one thing in us: Our sin. 

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He for sure didn't take me being black into consideration before making a decision to send me to hell or not. And I don't think that He does that for anyone else. He made us.  In Ephesians 1:4 Paul says that even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. So God knew that I would be black, He knows everything. He made everything. However, that's not how he judges me. I did not keep His law. So in His eyes, I am known as a law-breaker.

Not black, not anything else but a law-breaker. So if God looks at us in this way, there's a lot of different races who I know will not be with Jesus because, nobody can keep His law. Not one. Not one Jew or Gentile. Not one white or black. Not one. 

We are all black. Let me explain. I remember last year's Spring Break where my church served in inner-city Arlington. One of our last projects with the kids we were ministering to were the gospel beads. I'm sure most are familiar with these! These beads formed a bracelet that explained the gospel in such a simple yet amazing way. The first bead is black, and it represented our sin. 

God does not judge me on terms of my color but He does have to find a way to punish the darkness of the sin that is in me. The way to punish that is with eternal wrath, separated from God in that place called Hell. At this point, we cannot do anything about it. We are all sinners, and thats what God sees us as. And God cannot be with sin.

So in order for God to save us from the sin that separates us from Him, He has to look down and see us as something other than black (our sin). God cannot stand it. He has to look at us as Himself; unblemished and perfect. How did He do that?

This is the best discovery in Civil Rights history. This is larger than the story of Dr. King. This is better than any social-injustice movement in history. God left His home to do something about it. What did He do?

He sent Jesus to die for us and to cover those who put their trust in Him with His blood. He initiated the push for racial unity. By God sending His Son to cover us with His red blood, we who follow Jesus are now deemed spotless! For the first time in a long time we can be with God! He doesn't look at us as dark, black, and sinful once we put our trust in Jesus!

--because Jesus covered us, that's who He sees. Himself.

That's the kind of love that we replicate. A love that isn't biased of color, or party, or anything else we can filter. A love that looks at a person as a person. Not a color. This is colorblind love.

Cheyenne

A group of friends and I recently went to a missions conference and afterwards we spent New Year's Eve in Nashville, TN. We had so much fun! 

Two of my roommates and I were walking down Broadway Avenue, downtown to where the big bash would be around 3 in the afternoon. We passed by many people, bars, and more people. I had never been to a place like this (probably because I don't get out much). As we were heading downtown we passed a store with what looked like a little boy sitting with a backpack and a sign that read "Homeless & Hungry."

So many people were walking by so fast, I only got a glimpse of the scene but just like everyone else, I kept walking. My roommates didn't notice it, and I'm sure that 98% of pedestrians didn't either. Most of it nobody's fault, the kid was sitting very low on the ground, right in front of an abandoned store.  A regular person would have missed it. For some reason I saw him.

We get to a candy shop further down and all I can do is think about that kid. Thinking about how I just passed him. I have served in several unique homeless ministries for the past couple of years but that didn't have anything to do with it. I passed him up. I was convicted. I shut my mouth for a good ten minutes as my roommates and I walked around the candy shop, along with dozens of other people who could contribute something to help that kid out. I was thinking about what I could bring him, the last thing I think he'd want was candy! Then I soon remembered that I had left over chicken strips and French fries from Chilis, back in our car near the hotel we stayed in not too far away.

After a bit of silence & thinking, one of my roommates asked me if I was going to get anything. I said that I didn't know and asked him for the keys to the car we drove to Tennessee with. It seemed as if it was a random request, but then I explained that I had to give that kid some food. They understood and I power walked back to the hotel.

On my way to the hotel, I passed up the boy. I took off my sunglasses and him if he wanted some food. It seemed as if he was getting ready to leave and he turned around as if he saw Jesus and said with a convincing voice, "Yes!" However, it didn't sound like a man yes, it was most certainly a woman yes. I asked for her name and she told me Cheyenne. She apparently buzzed her hair a few weeks ago. I explained to her that I had food for her, and it would take me about ten minutes to get it to her. She told me that she would stay there as I walked to our hotel parking lot to take the food out of the car.

I walked so fast and hard that my shins were blazing as I walked back to Cheyenne. I passed the same views that I passed earlier that day: bars and pedestrians. I prayed to God for words to say to her, because I didn't know her story at all. I didn't want to come off as offensive and I really wanted to hear her story. It sounds cheesy but, I sang the words "I trust in you" as I approached her. I really hoped to talk to her about Jesus.

Her face lit up as I returned with the little food that I had for her. I'm pretty sure that she expected me to leave after doing a "good deed" however, I talked with her as she ate. It has to be lonely on the streets, and I love eating with people. I couldn't imagine being homeless and eating alone. So I took off my sun glasses and began told have conversation with her. 

"So how'd you get out here?," I asked her. She explained that she had ran away from her home where she was abused and exposed to drugs. "It was a really bad situation," she said,"I had really crappy parents." 

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said. "How old are you?" She told me that she was 24. She looked like she was 16.

She asked me if I went to school and I told her that I go to Texas Tech, in Texas. LOL
She followed that question with my least favorite question of all time. "So what's your major?"

So then I begin the spill that I am a Human Sciences General Studies major concentrating in Human Development & Family Studies, Personal Financial Planning, & Addictive Disorder Recovery Studies. "I want to do ministry after college is over," I explained. 

"Oh well since you study addictions, you can tell them that you met an addict in Nashville when you return!"

It was saddening to hear that. I paused for a moment. In the most awkward way I told her, "Well, I'm a Christian.." And before I could say anything else, her eyes widened and said, "Me too!" She began to pull out crosses and a bible out of her small backpack. 

Trying to clarify what she meant, I asked, "So you follow Jesus?" And she said, "Yes, He is everywhere I go."

Overjoyed, I told her that there is hope. He hasn't left her. He never will. But through her struggle in life, she already knew that. I asked her if I could pray over her her as people passed, and she let me. I explained that I had to get back to my roommates but, I wished her a happy New Years. With a huge smile on her face, she told me, "You too! Have a great semester at school!"

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I can think of several ways to waste this new year, and the rest of my life. I know that I will waste it if I do not wake up. Look at what's happened to us. 

I do not think that we are aware of what is going on in the world, I know that most of the time, I am not. We walk and drive past the homeless every day, probably on our way to get ourselves some food. We have company with community but cannot stay off of our smart phones. We complain about what we don't have, when we have more than 90% of the world. What has happened to us? 

When you love others you see the face of God. -Donald miller

It's not our depravity that makes us sad but our lack of material things. 

Why have we fallen so far? Its all due to our sinfulness. Moral perfection apart from Jesus is impossible so social injustice movements eternally fail. Saving women from trafficking is beautiful, but there is so much more to freedom. Being free is an illusion apart from Jesus. You are not truly free until you are free from eternal judgement.

In America we are fast paced. Walking like the people of Nashville on NYE, not noticing what is happening around us. We are looking at the latest fashions and complementing each other on how good we look and ask questions on how much each other's scarves were. We are figuring out the next way to earn our next check. We eat lunch and plan our dinner. We shop until we drop with no regard to the truth of what is really happening around us.

The world is going down with everything in it. Our money, possessions, loved ones, favorite restaurants , and pets are all going down with it. Jesus was perfectly aware of the hurt going on due to the sin in the world that He had come to abolish. 

So what is the point of these momentary idols compared to eternal joy? I think that should be one of the biggest questions we ask ourselves and are challenged with this new year. How can Jesus become more and I become less? 

Dry Bones

There are days and weeks and months where I feel like the life has been sucked right out of me

It could be due to being busy all of the time. Attempting to pour out into others could be a reason as well. Working jobs that I know I do not want to spend the rest of my life doing could factor into that also. All the things that I do seem legit and selfless but honestly I can hear the Lord saying to me through scripture, 

They may see you doing all these things but, you and I know where we stand.

I was once so on fire for Jesus that I did almost all I could do in my power to make Him known. Despite all my "Christian-ese" training and volunteering and works for Jesus it's hard for me to say that my love for Him got lost in the works (the thing that didn't saved me in the first place).

"We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind."

Isaiah 64:6

So somewhere in between of falling in love with Jesus and doing so much for Him, I lost the love that I once had for Him. I began reading less that I used to. I stopped praying like I used to. I didn't evangelize like I used to. I didn't even laugh like I used to. Who am I kidding, I'm still trying to get out of this "slump." Obviously nothing has changed on God's part. He is everything He was from the book of Genesis to now and He will forever always be the same. It's my heart that's deceitful. My heart was dry.

How could I, in the midst of all of my Christian deeds, forget about the one who saved me? Jesus sends this message to the church in Sardis:

“I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive—but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what little remains, for even what is left is almost dead. I find that your actions do not meet the requirements of my God.

Revelation 3:1b-2

So if my deeds are filthy rags in God's sight and those actions do not meet the requirements of God, then what in the world meets those requirements? I'm (and I'm sure a lot of Christians) meet this criteria. Having a reputation of being alive...yet God really knows whats up with us. People see us serving, but only the Big Man knows where we are with Him. God knows where I'm at with Him.

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40

So, that's it. 

My salvation is based on a relationship. My love for the Lord and Him only. NOT my reputation. NOT my Christian resume. Not even by how many I lead to the Lord. Solely on my relationship with His son Jesus Christ. What I do with Him determines where I go. I believe the requirement Jesus talked about in Revelation was simply this: to fall in love with Him and for it to stay that way. (see Revelation 2:1-5)

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A lot of Christians struggle with this, especially in college. We learn about Jesus and accept His love and give our lives away without truly remembering what we gave our lives away for in the first place. From seeing what Jesus has to say about it and from experience I can truly say that it is not life giving at all. And we feel it however, most of us don't express it. The same God who gave us life no longer gives us the fuel to run on because our roots are not in Him. We don't look for our "daily bread" from chewing on the Word of God and we become dry because we are not truly seeking the true Living Water. We have become dry bones: robots without a brain just doing things because they are good, not truly seeking the Lord behind closed doors. It's like Siri: Steve Jobs is dead and it's still up and running without it's own mind, only doing what it's programmed to do and nothing more. But our God is alive and we were meant to live for so much more than a life of a robot. 

Take a second to read Ezekiel 37:1-14 (below in NLT):

A Valley of Dry Bones

The Lord took hold of me, and I was carried away by the Spirit of the Lord to a valley filled with bones. He led me all around among the bones that covered the valley floor. They were scattered everywhere across the ground and were completely dried out. Then he asked me, “Son of man, can these bones become living people again?”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I replied, “you alone know the answer to that.”

Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to these bones and say, ‘Dry bones, listen to the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Look! I am going to put breath into you and make you live again! I will put flesh and muscles on you and cover you with skin. I will put breath into you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

So I spoke this message, just as he told me. Suddenly as I spoke, there was a rattling noise all across the valley. The bones of each body came together and attached themselves as complete skeletons. Then as I watched, muscles and flesh formed over the bones. Then skin formed to cover their bodies, but they still had no breath in them.

Then he said to me, “Speak a prophetic message to the winds, son of man. Speak a prophetic message and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, O breath, from the four winds! Breathe into these dead bodies so they may live again.’”

So I spoke the message as he commanded me, and breath came into their bodies. They all came to life and stood up on their feet—a great army.

Then he said to me, “Son of man, these bones represent the people of Israel. They are saying, ‘We have become old, dry bones—all hope is gone. Our nation is finished.’ Therefore, prophesy to them and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: O my people, I will open your graves of exile and cause you to rise again. Then I will bring you back to the land of Israel. When this happens, O my people, you will know that I am the Lord. I will put my Spirit in you, and you will live again and return home to your own land. Then you will know that I, the Lord, have spoken, and I have done what I said. Yes, the Lord has spoken!’”

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This passage is pointing to Jesus. When all hope was gone for sinners alike God demonstrated His love for us in this mighty way: sending Jesus off of His throne to die for us so we may live! We were the walking dead and God's Spirit has made us alive again! We were dry bones but now we are alive and well! Praise God!

But as we see in Revelation 3:2, Jesus tells us to strengthen what little remains. 

Because my bones long for perfect love. They desire Him. They cry out for Him! And He knows that He is the only thing that can bring life to the dead. A healthy growing relationship with Him is the antidote to that hole in our heart that we try to plug in with everything else other than Him. I've tried to plug it up with money, thinking it would solve my problem. Serving, thinking I could buy the plug. And people, hoping that they don't see that I'm truly messed up.

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But, I am messed up regardless. The point is that my identity is not in what I do, but what Jesus has done. And what I do does not determine who I am but, who I am in Christ determines what I do! Something has to change with my relationship with the man who endured the cross so I could be set free. I have to respond to that. And He asks us this: to love Him.

I am imperfect and I will be until I see my Savior, but I want to return to that dumb kid who spent His whole freshman and sophomore year chasing Jesus and fishing men. I believe God wants all of us to return to loving Him completely, not partially.

These bones are crying out, and I didn't realize it at first but thank God I see it now. They long for the same One that revived them: Jesus. Without Him, I am just a bag of old dry bones.

We need Him. Let's start living like it.